The biggest thing that struck me about our 10 year fertility journey was how things fell into place when I stopped focusing on Project Baby.
Most of my clients have strived to achieve great things in their life. However that approach was not working with their fertility. This is because striving can be based upon fear of not achieving, a subconscious belief that I’ll be okay when I’ve done X or achieved Y and perhaps people will think less of us if we haven’t proved our worth in some way.
This approach to fertility can feel like your life is on hold. All our energy is focused on Project Baby.Image may be NSFW.
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After an eight-year journey we heard that having children was a possibility for us for the first time. Then a year later we found out I was infertile (disastrously!).
I committed to improve my fertility doing things such as acupuncture, herbs, nutrition etc. After all this my results were slightly worse! At this point I gave up trying. There was clearly nothing I could do, ICSI was our only option.
I felt shock and blind panic that my subconscious strategy for happiness had come off the rails. I had no idea what to do. I genuinely thought that having children would bring the sense of fulfillment
I had been seeking all my life.
I began to reflect on my life. I made changes such as resigning from my job that wasn’t ‘me’. I started to live the life I wanted rather than the life others expected of me. I began to believe I could live an inspired and purposeful life, with or without children. I still wanted to have children and we continued our journey, however it shifted from being a psychological need to becoming a preference.
Four months later my wife was pregnant. We were told the odds were one in a billion, and we were not actually trying because we thought there was no point.
I was intrigued and did another test. My fertility had improved dramatically without me trying!
Looking back I can see how my fear of not having children undermined the good things I was doing. I found a more healthy psychological state which meant my body fell into a more healthy physical state. My life was flowing again, and so was my body.
My experience and my client’s experience shows that when you focus on Project You Project Baby tends to take more care of itself with or without treatment.
What’s your first step in your Project You?
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About the Author
Russell Davis, Fertility Coach and Cognitive Hypnotherapist,writer and speaker, believes that too many couples go through fertility treatment unnecessarily and that the success rate of treatment is unnecessarily low because the mind and emotions are not catered for in the journey.
Russell helps women and couples all over the world (via Skype/phone) find peace of mind and harness the mind-body link on their journey to getting pregnant.
Russell, the Fertility Specialist Advisor to The National Council of Hypnotherapy, founded The Fertile Mind fertility mind-body programs and coaching based on he and his wife’s 10-year double infertility journey which resulted in the natural conception of their son.
If you are ready to find peace of mind on your journey to getting pregnant, contact Russell today at russell@thefertilemind.net or download his free Getting Started pack from his website www.thefertilemind.net
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